Your Man Is Not More Important Than Your Child
WE MUST DO BETTER
Friends, neighbors, and other community members all have a role to play in keeping children safe. By staying aware, recognizing warning signs, and speaking up when something doesn’t seem right, we can help protect children from abuse and neglect.
Learn the warning signs of child abuse and neglect. Get helpful guidance on what to do when a child confides in you about abuse, and learn what happens after CFSA receives a report of suspected child abuse or neglect.
Protecting children is everyone’s responsibility. Looking the other way should never be the answer.
ANOTHER LITTLE LIFE CUT SHORT
I read police and U.S. Attorney’s Office press releases every day as part of the work I do with Congress Heights on the Rise. After all these years, there is one type of story I will never become numb to: children being abused, sexually assaulted or killed by the very adults who are supposed to protect them.
Two year old Mars Jones
The case of 2-year-old Mars Jones is the latest reminder. Mars died after suffering inflicted head trauma in October 2022. According to prosecutors, Dasean Matthews repeatedly struck the two-year-old throughout the day, including blows captured on video, before delivering an unconscious and bloody Mars to his mother and fleeing. Matthews has now pleaded guilty to second-degree murder.
Read about the Mars Jones case
There are complex dynamics surrounding domestic violence—fear, coercion, financial dependence, manipulation and abuse among them. I recognize that. But when an adult knows or has reason to believe a child is being harmed and continues to give the person responsible access to that child, my sympathy is with the child.
Children cannot choose who lives in their home. They cannot pack a suitcase and leave. They depend on adults to protect them.
And this goes beyond parents.
Victor Armando Simms AKA Stacy Patrick Simms
A PREDATOR IN PLAIN SIGHT
I think about the victims of Victor Armando Simms because this one is deeply personal for me.
Simms was both a guidance counselor and teacher of mine at a Ward 8 school, despite having a prior conviction involving the sexual abuse of a child and was on the DC sex registry at the time of his employment. How someone with that history was ever allowed to work around students (youth and adult) is something I will never understand—particularly because concerns about him were brought to the attention of multiple law enforcement agencies, DC Public Schools and the agency responsible for the sex offender registry.
Simms was a creep. Once he realized that I knew about his history, he went out of his way to make my life difficult. I became so uncomfortable around him that I refused to go into his office, particularly if the door was going to be closed.
As someone who had experienced sexual abuse myself, being around a person with his history was incredibly triggering. I wanted out of that environment so badly that I completed my three-month program in less than a month.
And I wasn't the only person who recognized that something was wrong.
Years later, Simms was prosecuted for sexually abusing young girls and ultimately sentenced to life in federal prison. Prosecutors said their investigation uncovered sexual abuse and exploitation of children dating back decades. I read the affidavit for the arrest warrant (it was horrible). The mothers who let Victor Simms live in their homes - even in their children's bedrooms - thought their little girls would be safe unsupervised with a grown man; after all, Simms worked in a position of authority with a reputable organization. One mother knew that Simms was a registered sex offender but thought he was "reformed."
DON’T ENABLE A CHILD ABUSER BY STAYING QUIET
This is why reporting suspected child abuse matters.
Mandatory reporting laws exist for a reason. But you don't need a professional title to recognize your responsibility when you believe a child may be in danger.
You don't have to know for certain that abuse is happening. You are not the investigator. If you see something that makes you reasonably suspect a child is being abused, exploited, neglected or placed at risk, report your concerns to the appropriate authorities and let the people responsible for investigating determine what happened.
Don't convince yourself it's none of your business. Don't stay quiet because speaking up could make things uncomfortable. And don't prioritize protecting an adult's reputation, relationship, job or feelings over protecting a child.
Cause the problem.
Make the call.
Tell somebody.
Let the authorities determine what happened.
Because an adult might be angry with you for reporting your concerns.
A child might be alive because you did.
JUST GO TO HELL. EXPEDITIOUSLY.
One final personal note: I don't pretend to have forgiveness in my heart for people who deliberately abuse, torture, sexually assault or kill children—or for adults who knowingly allow it to happen.
I hope those responsible are held accountable for every single day of their lives. I hope the weight of what they did follows them every day they spend behind bars. And when their lives are over, whatever comes next is between them and their God.
As for me, I hope they find no peace in prison or in the hereafter.
The children they harmed deserved the peace they were denied.