Thursday, November 27, 2014

The Advoc8te's tips for Thanksgiving cooking (and starting a fire)

Tip #1
Never buy those aluminum "Bake & Carry" pans in the grocery store. They are mass produced pieces of crap.

Tip #2
Candied yam syrup is really sticky and really hard to clean out of an oven. The only thing you will use more than the Brillo pads are profanity.

Tip #3
Syrup residue is way more flammable than you would think.

Tip #4
After facing a near death experience try to look on the bright side -- even if you are in your underwear, crying, and covered in fire extinguisher chemicals. Besides, your neighbors across the alley are really enjoying the show through your now open windows. 

Tip #5
It is never too early to start drinking on Thanksgiving. 

Tip #6
In times of need, loved ones are sure to come to your rescue.

Tip #7
After facing a near death experience, it is good to look toward the future. 

Tip #8
The 5th stage of grief is Acceptance.

Tip #9
When in doubt, seek professional help. 

Tip #10
Use those lemons to make lemonade  (which incidentally is what you will now be bringing to Thanksgiving dinner instead of candied yams)

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