That being said, my personal choice for DC Mayor has been clear for quite some time. I have followed this candidate for years, watched them evolve into the go-getter they are today. I have found strength in their tenacity, spirit, and friendliness. This candidate embodies the very essence of loyalty, dogged determination, but with a relaxed air that makes them at ease in the office or in the living room. Some may accuse this candidate of "laying down on the job" and "only showing up when they want something" but I have found this candidate to be pretty forthright in their commitment to the issues at hand.
So despite getting in a few scrapes and making a few questionable ethical choices, this candidate has my trust and support. Their loyalty is without question. Their actions speak louder than words every could. No cheap tricks or political games allowed!
So it is with great pleasure that I am happy to announce my support for our next Mayor of DC...
HAPPY APRIL FOOL'S DAY!