Friday, January 03, 2014

5 things that would make my birthday perfect.

UPDATE: I have the best readers and friends in the world. The day is not even half over and one of my readers gave me the honor of doing something so thoughtful and nice it literally left me speechless. To B.S. "Thank You!"

My birthday is here and I am now thirty-[redacted for security reasons].  And while there are far more gray hairs than I would like, I am alive and kicking. That is always a plus.

I have no idea what my darling friends have planned for tonight's celebrations but I am sure it will be awesome.  Although to be fair, last year's "Piñata of Broken Dreams" will be pretty hard to top. Beating the crap out of a Darth Vader piñata only to have it rain down with hundreds of slips of paper inscribed with your unfulfilled hopes and dreams is pretty damn epic. I highly recommend it. Somewhere in my house is a handbag filled with glitter, candy, and tiny slips of paper that say things like "own a car that doesn't sound like a lawn mower" and "student loan debt that doesn't make you want to consider faking your own death."

Like I said, "epic."

So before I go back to sleep (my gift to myself) I thought I would share some of the items on my birthday wish list. Who knows, maybe the universe will come through for me this year and fulfill some of those broken dreams -- or at least give me a very funny story to tell for next year.

And without further ado.....


I was just informed this in fact is not a falcon but a Golden Eagle but you get the idea.

Falcons are not only practical (no more walking across the room to get the remote) but they make you look bad ass. And if you are already bad ass they make you look even more bad ass (see above). Prince of Petworth may be D.C.'s most well-known blogger but I would have the ability to get fresh meat (or new pets) just by opening my window. 

4. AN IPAD (or an Ipad mini)
It's bad enough I have to carry around two iPhones (and constantly miss calls on both) but I also carry around not one but TWO laptops. I leave the house everyday looking like a well dressed pack mule. An iPad will allow me to do my blogging on the fly without sacrificing my spine in the process. Of course I can also use my new iPad to learn all about my new falcon. 

At first I was going to ask for a year long supply of their ramen but after I thought about it I realized the problem wasn't paying for my Classic Toki, the issue was waiting for my Classic Toki. If you have every been to Toki Underground you know the rules and the long line situation.  You know your restaurant is ballin' when you don't take phone reservations. What I would love to have is a Toki Underground Fast Pass. Think of it as a Black Card for amazing ramen -- membership does have its privileges and one of them is not having to wait in line. Alas, the Toki Underground Fast Pass does not exist. :(  So for the time being I could totally make due with a year's supply of their yummy eats! 

As you already know from reading my blog my mom is awesome. Not only does she read my blog daily (how else would she know I was alive) but she has been really understanding about my lack of visits -- although she only lives 3 hours away. She understands that my community advocacy/blogging/nonprofit/marketing work is really important to me so she tries not to make me feel too guilty about not coming home more often but I do still feel guilty. I also would like to do something nice for her so one of these days I hope to surprise her on a really special vacation just the two of us. She really deserves it and I haven't had a real vacation in years. I don't really care where we go as long as we are together. (Although a swim-up bar would be nice.)

1. A NEW CAR!!!!
In my mind that had a very "Price is Right" announcer flair to it. I really need a new car ASAP. So much so I have thought about getting a Vespa until I could get a new car. I love Ward 8 but we have already discussed the challenges of getting basic services and shopping here. A car is not just convenient, it is crucial to life here and I really need a new one! I wasn't joking when I said my car sounds like a lawn mower (on a good day).  I'm not even going to be selfish on this one. A Benz may be the sign of a baller but I am a blogger afterall, a Kia Soul will be just fine. Besides, I really love those hamsters - they would make a great snack for my falcon! 

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Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday Advocate!

Your so hot!

Anonymous said...


Geo said...

Happy Birthday Advocate. I'll have to look into gift passes with expedited seating into Toki Underground for my favorite D.C. Blogger.

Also have a prosperous and preferred 2014!

Slick said...

I was just cruising a few blogs and ran across yours! Thanks so much for the laugh, and I hope you get all that you wish for!